The ant nest

We spend days looking at those ants nibbling away mixing moving arranging and fixing those layers of soil, always moving never stopping always trying to escape yet living in a closed world which they cannot escape from a world which they have no hope of ever existing until one day one of them accidentally makes it out and realities that he and all his brothers and sisters all his family friends and all those who he know they were trapped yet they didn't know they were all living their life with their own little problems but not realizing that they were doomed and closed from the bigger much more beautiful world outside so he goes back in and tells everyone about it about the amazing beautiful world that exists.

The sad part. No one listens to him.

No one understands what he wants to say and they all igore him, and this the an becomes sad living while making a desition to either stay or to go, either way he will lose something, he will lose those around him, or the chance to see a greater world and live like he never imagined.

posted from Bloggeroid

Rambling

Hiiiii,

How are you all? Good? Feeling Fat? Disgusting?

Well don't XD you had some of the best food you could have all year long, granted the energetic value is probably equivalent to a yea of food and munching. At least for myself, I started eating at 10 am stopped eating at around 7-8pm took an hours break at 9:30 I had a gorgeously large slice of amazing ness called cake.

But that was yesterday, what is today? Today is yet an other amazing day of awesome! Yes it is, well I am writing this ( what I'm getting to the point in the second paragraph tztz OnK on second)

Third paragraph it is, and yes I am writing this because I am on the ferry and the jolly molly feeling there is here is amazing ( granted the water is a tad bit wavy, must still be drunk from yesterdays festivities) OK that was lame but it's staying.

OK focus young one focus. People happy talking almost singing, boat a swaying and now I'm just rambling.

Anyway what do I want to say!

Hope you had the Merriest of Christmases,
And wish you the most enjoyable hangovers these holidays!

posted from Bloggeroid

Christmas!!!!

It's Santa,
He's coming,
Rushing though the snow they said,
Bringing gifts they said,

But what truly comes is the magic,
One of the few times,
That we all say,
A lie,
As white as virgin snow,

But this magic never,
Brings gifts,
Brings flying reindeer,
Brings magical beasts of an other world

But this magic does bring,
Unity,
Love,
Truces,
Breaks from war,
Breaks from work,
Peace and reconciliation,

It's not a religious feast,
No,
This is a spiritual day,

So let's all prepare for the massive feasts,
The long time with our insufferable families,
The boring and useless gifts,
The drunk uncles and dads,
The drinking of conspicuous amounts of whisky.

Let's all enjoy Christmas!!!!

A happy merry merry Christmas to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted from Bloggeroid

Fire

Small and fickle,
Hungry for more.

Fed with:
Leaves,
Wood,
And petroleum.

Burning strong,
Burning bright,

Yet the hunger is never,
Sated,
Gone,
Satisfied...

Yearning for more,
Sending shards,
Embers fly into the night,

Landing everywhere,
Burning for an instant,
Then dieing out.

Yet the fire burns,
Strong and bright.
Dancing over,

Trying to escape,
Trying to run,
Trying to explore.

No matter how much,
No matter how many,
The fuel never was enough.

Then the wind came,
The wind bought the rain,
The rain fought the fire.
The fire lost its flame.
The flame thus lost its appetite.

And then the fire went to sleep,
Yet,
Small,
Slumbering,
Ambers,
Ready,
Waiting.

To burst out once more,
To burn yet again,
Bright and strong,
To dance,
To burn.

posted from Bloggeroid

Dream

Time is all we have, and time is all we base our lives on,
yet sleeping, something that is the most
worthless

takes the most time of all of our lives
we sleep for a third of our life,
we spend time with our eyes closed,
we spend time with our brains allowed to grow,

we spend time to dream...
what is this dreaming,

dreaming is the most beautiful thing,
yet reality is the scariest thing of all,

reality is what kills dreams,
reality is what makes us hate sleeping,
reality is what makes us hate dreaming and calling them nightmares,

what is the real nightmare,
that is waking up,
that is having to stop dreaming,
that is my worst nightmare.

What do I do about it!
I dream while I am awake, I dream of what I am,
what I can do,
I dream of what I want to do.

But most of all,
I dream of dreaming,

Friends.

We will drink,
we will drink to remember.

We will drink,
we will drink to forget.

We will drink,
we will drink to make new memories.

We will drink,
we will drink so that we can live.

We will drink,
we will drink for each other.

We will drink,
we will drink with each other.

We will drink,
we will drink far or near.

We will drink
we will drink for friends, brothers.

and now I drink to you!
And together we send cheers to ALL!



Note:

This is dedicated to all my old friends, and to all my new friends and those that I will yet have to meet, this is dedicated to all those who I went though thick and thin with, but specially to a group of people who have been there for as long as I can remember, and to you right now I raise my glass and I drink to your good health!

The deepest ocean.

The deepest ocean, this isn't found where you are expecting it to be. No this is not something tangible or something physical. It is not something that many think it is and use. This deepest of  oceans is the internet.

It is the amazing space where anyone and everyone can put what they know, what they love and what they care about. They put their 'life hacks', case in point a year ago while looking for a job, online. I found one which stated :  Write ten life hacks and explain them and we pay you 150 euros upfront.  Our experience is recorded stored and saved on this massive data base a cloud, that once anything is on there it is very hard to remove. Yet, we often restrict our self's, me included to the first 2-3 pages of Google, if not the very first search that comes up. We often do not even dare to go and see the 2-100 million more results what they can offer and what they have in store for us.

I read an article recently saying how the writer of the blog, which promotes starting companies and initiatives, He mentioned the fact that so many amazing start ups have no chance to start, because they never are able to get to the top, as the top have monopoly over our attention.

In fact we cannot even access some of them as Google censors them according to who pays it money to be the high light. Or according to what is used the most. ( tells you a great deal about Wikipedia and how many desperate students resort to such measures)

http://www.ebizmba.com/articles/most-popular-websites

This site shows us the views of which sites we visit and how many times we visit them, and I am sure you use a fraction more different websites then these mentioned. For anything else opened its though links of highly liked statuses and posts from famous people who influences 200-1000000 million people to look at someone.

I must say myself I post here, my thoughts my ideas my stories and my personality. Some people told me it is as if I know you and have known you for a long time. However why do we still have people saying, I am sorry but I don't know how to use that! I am sorry but what is Google drive? I am sorry what are Google docs? I am sorry but what is video chat? I am sorry what is live streaming?

I was told by a close friend of mine, and I love him to bits, but he told me: "Alex not everyone is like you, not everyone knows how to use computers like you."

To that I will tell you, I learnt everything by trying, I learnt everything by watching others doing something and asking. I ask Google daily, how do I draw a graph, how do I use excel ( people using massive statistical analysis please give me an alternative I would love you for ever)

The point is, my basis in being able to interact with computers is minimal and archaic compared with some people I know who are computer, tech wizards. Unlike these tech wizards, to be able to use and maximize you experience from this giant pool of knowledge of experience and just plain amazing opportunities is very easy..

All you need is to understand, there is more to the internet then just the same few sites everyone uses. I, as a number of you know, have a thing to have 40-80 tabs or so open at the same time when I'm working on my laptop (granted 20-30 of them are from Facebook) , when I am gaming or even just watching a film. I highly suggest you learn how to use different sites at once, of course granted you have the RAM for it.

Anyhow, I have rambled and jumped from point to point. Saying many things and yes saying nothing at all, but I will say is this, use and integrate internet, and its million and one uses in your life.

Canteen: The Pea Soup!

A pleasant surprise, very pleasant and tasty surprise from canteen. It came in the form of a nice small bowl of green tasty and yummy, not to mention heart warming and filling soup.

The moment I saw this massive vat, the first thing I thought was. Yay mulled wine, ( you know since its the start of December, and I expected the canteen to capitalize on that) (PS please do I want to get drunk on campus with wine) anyhow beside the point. I was so much happier to find this filling and cheap soup.

Very pleased I marched out of the canteen with a bowl of soup and a doughnut. I must say, to my earlier comment about the canteen. It is still a very expensive place to eat. Very expansive for students, however they toned the prices down after they tool their tie to meet around 40 students who showed up. The coffee and the pastizzi went down in price (pastizzi very important) and the service is still one of the best served around.

So all in all I must congratulate the canteen on their improvements and for listening to their client's. I must also say, I will be returning to look for more soups very soon. Maybe a nice cabbage and bacon or some French onion soup. Or a simple good old minestrone.

I do wonder what else they have in mind!

The Black Mirror

I have been, blessed or cursed for the past two months. My mobile, smart phone broke down and my laptop wasnt functioning to its best of best capabilities. So I was living with minimal interaction to the online world. With a black mirror facing me at all times.

This does not mean that I still did my best to spend at least 2-3 hours a day on Facebook and gmail replying and promoting events. But today, today I got my phone for the first time. And I think a lot of you realized by the messages spamming across my twitter account, people being called, updates coming on Facebook. The first time I walked to University for two months and did not look where I was walking, the first Time I took out my phone while waiting for a meeting and talked to the phone not to the people around me. The first time that I took a selfi. The first time that looked up something on Google on the spot. The first time that I emailed someone asap. The first time I snapped chatted. The first time I did read the news as it happened. The first time I heard of what was going on instantly.

The the battery went out, just after 3 hours of using my phone, it burning red hot in my hands form it being over used. It was like a drug addict falling right back into his addiction, it was like someone, who took a small breath from sprinting and then realized when he started again, he wasn't used to take a break. It was a shock. I WAS SHOCKED.

Why. well I did not realize I was so attached to the internet as I was, I did not understand or believe someone would need the internet so much in their life. I did not believe how much the world is different, I did not look for and write poems in my head anymore, I speak them out loud to the world around me.

However, my short break from the sprint that my life is has stopped. I need to get back sprinting, if I am to do anything as close to the efficiency that I need. When every minute of my day is planned ahead 2-3 weeks before, when I decide what I need to do and how I need to do it. When I always am tring to do the best thing possible for those around me.

Is this me being sad about how the world has become. No not at all, this world has its beauty in its own self. Its just a small reflection on what has occurred in this world and how much we changed our habits and actions. How we live in a different state of mind and being. This I find to be extremely intriguing and just simply amazing that we have altered our life styles so much. I think what will happen in just five years.

Water!

Running,
Fleeting,

Guided,
Gliding,

Caressing,
Choking,

Breaking,
Building,

Tearing,
Uniting,

Cooling,
Freezing,

Nurturing,
Killing.

#Ramblingagain

Wow haven't talked in a while, and well I have been ignoring you people out there.

So a milestone was achieved and that is 8000 views, that means my rantings were read or at the least started to be read 8000 times. I am seriously worried about you guys, I mean you are listening to the ravings of a mad man. A MAD MAN! Setting jokes aside, this is truly an honor for me, I started blogging simply to find a way to improve my English, and make my sister bulling confined to her tearing apart my earlier pieces to shreds then posting them online.

And now here I am ranting, on and on and on. What will I be ranting about today? Well, that is indeed a question and a half. I started with a reason to write this blog, then remembered that I needed to thank you guys. (In my own fashion of course) anddd now I forgot.  I mean I am still writing, or am I just thinking aloud.

AHH!!!! yes, that's what I wanted to write about. Living life at 100%, how does that feel like? Well I know I cannot tell you that, because I never did, but what I can tell you is the change and shock in sensations I got recently.

So currently I am sick, got the flue no biggie, and was having some trouble breathing, again no biggie the usual right? Well with this happening I went to seek medical attention, and the doctor gave me a crap tone of, well you guessed it. OXYGEN! and some other things along with it, and man that felt GOOD.

My field of vision, doubled, the details I could taken in and process at the same time, grew exponentially. I could see, hear and experience so much. I felt alive, my brain going at a million miles an hour. I was thinking of all the things I could do and not do. Till it passed away, I felt, rather I never felt better.

Frankly I probably didn't feel any different from when I am normal, you know not sick. However, since there was such a short time for the meds to take effect. I swear in 15 minutes I was running and hopping around like a rabbit on crystal meth. That the effect I saw was insane, couple that with a good night sleep, well night and day. I was, I felt indestructible, till time came for sleeping, then I released how shit I actually felt.

Anyhow, so yea that is what has been happening in my life atm. I will write some more soon enough, I got some cool things coming up and I wanna share them with you guys.

Words!

I Dream.
I Act.
I Live.
I Breath.

Yet what ever happens,
When ever I do not

I shut down,
and I write, I write words, not of wisdom,

nor do I write words which are of aid,

I write to shut down,
I write to run,
I write to remember,
I write to believe
I write to keep existing.

The words which are hidden will not be seen,
Yet the words which are seen will not be heard.

I close myself, by opening myself.
I grow, by dieing.
That is what I write.

Globalisation!

My, my, its Halloween and what a Halloween it is!

But wait, im living in Malta, the country which up to a few years ago, Halloween was quite a minor thing. What people trick or treating in the street? What children asking me about sweets for me to give them?!?!?!

What is this?

Its the affect of globalization, and a nice effect it is, holidays, days across the world. That we go though and unite us as one nation, borders don't exists, everyone known s the Christmas tree. Well know the pumpkin is in Malta as well. Its still not taken over with crazy pumpkins all over the streets, with wisps of smoke drafting from peoples doors, or mutants zombies crawling across the streets.

However its coming and every year its stronger, I remember the first time I dressed up for Halloween my mum told me. What are you doing?! What is this?

I answered, well they got a Halloween theme tonight at the pub. Who ever gets a costume gets a free shooter. I wore the punisher, simply drew a skull over a shirt and walked around in a trench coat and face paint. However 5-6 years later, now kids are running door to door trick or treating. Grown ups are dressing up, buying sweets and waiting at the door. People wait for this day and hand out sweets.

Maybe yes its me who grew up in Gozo, where we are still a tad more insulated then Malta. However its a growing phenomenon, slowly we will age and not realize we have accepted this as yearly tradition. Slowly we will give it our own Maltese twist, and slowly we will create our own Halloween legends.

We will make it our own. That's the beauty of globalization, we take what everyone can relate to and unify it with our culture so we can transmit our feelings and traditions to others. However that is also the sad part. This will slowly and surely take away parts of our identity in the process, but its only natural that it happens since we are a herd species, we do not and cannot exist on our own. The trick to a global society is indeed we have something we can relate to with each other, and different cultures and different traditions are something which are hard to unify.

The next step, towards a unified world, and the next step in the age of the internet. Which promotes above everything else, increased and almost non stop communication. I mean hell, if it wasn't for this step no one would be reading my ranting and rambling about this world.

Anyway What do you guys think? Am I talking out of my arse as usual or do you like me realize these small things? Which are slowly becoming part of our culture.

Farts!

They come in many shapes,
Size
colour
andddd sound.

But they all cause
people to run
run
run
run
awayyyyy

why,

well because they are farts you dumb ass,
and what do farts do?
Well they smell
and they usually ain't pretty.

well,

pretty is not
an option
options
are
ugly

however, life
life is just a fart,
that we try to run away from

However, the door
its locked
and the window its closed.

So we just have to learn
how to live with it
and fart just a little bit more.

University! A rant about something which may or may not make sense!

Soon it will be a month since the first of this month, well what am I saying. I am saying soon believe it or not freshman's you will have finished your first month at University. However, have you started to realize you have so much work, you have started to realize its time to forget about working with those pesky organisations.

The time for you to start focusing on your studies and get those grades. Well be my guest, however I do believe that will beat the point of even coming to university in the first place. Not to sound, like I do sound most of the time an annoying twat with a sens of diligence to move the world around. No I want you to listen to me, or rather what I have to say.

YOU ARE AT UNIVERSITY!

Here you do not come to learn about how the great grand-master of the 12th century of that order of knights rules some obscure part of the world. You learn why he did so!

You do not learn how molecule A and molecule B bond together to form molecule C though the mechanism D. You learn how to read mechanisms!

You are here to learn, how to teach yourself to survive the world out there. And trust me, no dont trust me, I am still a simple student like you. Trust those around you, the world sucks, and it will hit you, it will kick you and push you down.

However, when it does that what do you do? You stand up on your feet and keep on laughing at your mistakes.

Where am I going along with this?

Well, I am going to the place which tells you ENJOY your time at university, get to do some hobby. It doesn't necessarily mean you enter and take over an organisation with unimaginable energy. (Although please do, because it is such a refreshing feeling knowing your not alone for those of us who do spend time to do these things)

No, I mean take a hobby, do something for yourself. Because this is the time, not when you are old and wrinkly, with a million and one worries. Not when you are getting married and with kids, not a second for yourself.

No the time is now, do something you like, and if you cannot think of anything that you will like, then start running, running is always good. I guess this also applies to me, sometimes I do focus to much on what I have to do however, I forget the nice things in my life, or rather choose to ignore the most important person in my life.

I am the most important person in my life. Why? because I am a self centered bastard? No, because if I am not able to take care of myself I will break down and cause problems for those around me and I will not be able to live with myself.

So take care of yourselves, at university, what really is the most important thing that you will learn?

Apart from almost all lecturers are evil?
That exams are impossible?
That you will not be able to hold a diet?
That everyone hates you?
That you are a special case?

I will tell you,

Its that you will always survive if you keep trying no matter how hard it gets going, and when it gets to much, do not be afraid to ask for help. I do it all the time, help and advice. It will help you grow and become a better person.

So what should we do?

Lets all start running together, at the very least we will loose some weight and look good for the next time we have to hand in our assignments. Speaking about those I should get back to writing the ones due next week. Toodles xD

Eyes!

I will have to admit,
Eyes, always have,
Without pause,
Without faltering.
Always impressed me.

Why do you ask me?

For they are the windows

to the inside of one's soul?

For they are the only way,
we can talk without lying?

No.

Its because, no-one understands,
Eyes, are what we use to see the world,
However what do we see when we look into someone else?

We see our reflection,
We see what they think of us,
We see love,
We see pain,
We see hate,
We see warmth,
We see cold.

We see ourselves through the sight of others.
We are what those around us make us to be.

We grow, based on what believe we are,
We live, how others see us live.

Eyes,

Eyes, excite me,
they interest me.

I want to grow,
I want to better myself,
So every day I look into someone else's
Eyes, and yet I wonder,
What do they see in mine?

Tell me what to write: The Evolution of Sex and Death

So what is this? Basically I need a hobby and since it's sometimes hard to come up with inspirations about what to write, well I will ask you guys and you will give me something to write about. What I see and fancy I will write. Hope this experiment will do well, please keep in mind usually I will not research in detail what I will write unless stated so, but just give my opinion and overall view on the topic, so I am subject to be criticized and you are allowed to tell me Alex you are bloody wrong, and I will say, well I am and I will amend as needed, or tell you to sod off according to what the topic is about.

ANYHOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!

Edward Duca asked me to write about:

The Evolution of Sex and Death:

Well, this is a tricky one, and it needs some research, however I am currently writing five reports on, well, the shoreline and it's bloody annoying to do more research. So instead I will scavenge the depths of my brain for something about the topic.

If I remember right, sex is a form of immortality or, to use a less powerful term, cheating death. This is putting it in the simplest terms possible. What do I mean by this? Well, put it this way. What are we made of?

Most of you if not all should be saying, cells and stuff. Well you are correct, we are made up of cells. Which in turn are made up of? Ok this one is a tad harder: protein. They are made of protein amongst other things. Proteins are called the building blocks of life. Thus as the name would suggest, this means that they are needed for life to exist. However where do they come from?

They come from data stored inside DNA, RNA and stuff of the same sort. Yes I am pointing to you, genetics out there. These genes hold the secret to replication of protein, that means they hold the recipe for the building of organisms which are alive and not a dead mush of stuff. Especially when these are built in a specific way that form us. Everything we see around us is built by the data stored inside the genes of living organisms.

Was I on a tangent? Well yes and no. I gave you the information you needed to understand why we are immortal. Or rather how we can be immortal, have you figured it out? No, well ok.

You're with me to the point of hearing that genes are what hold the information to build proteins which in turn allows living organisms to exist right? How is this information transferred? Its transferred through, well you guessed it SEX, and hallelujah a lot of sex occurs all over the place. Everyone is out there trying to fuck the brains out of the opposite sex or of itself (asexuals we will not discriminate you here on this page we feel your pain amoebas) Why? So it can make sure that its genetic code, the genes are transferred to the next generation.

(Just to check that you're actually reading my revisions: Hello Alex's audience, I proofread his stuff because his grammar's an absolute travesty and an insult to human existence)*The Dragon* [Decided to leave this here because its awesome]*Alex*

 Yes, over time, changes occur, there is the odd mutation or bad coding. However more or less we transfer our genetic code to the next generation. Technically speaking for us humans, if we have four kids we have the chance of having fully transferred our genetic code across to the next generation.

Literally we would be living inside our children, and we are the living embodiment of our ancestors. Yes we would die, our bodies will deteriorate, however our genetic code will move on. How do we die? How is our immortality stopped? This will happen if we do not reproduce if we do not transfer our genetic code to the next generation and we do not replicate our DNA (in the case of humans).

So sex, is a way that we managed to evolve to beat death, and gain immortality. However this immortality will over time change and new features will grow, new characteristics will show. And this is the product of evolution, of the growth of a species which is able to adapt to its surroundings. This doesn't mean that the genetic code has completely mutated and changed but rather, it shows that we where able to adapt to our environment.

I understand there can be gaping scientific holes in my description and there probably are, so if you would be so kind as to show them to me I would appreciate. Other wise, Ed hope you enjoyed this xD!

How to make friends!

Well it goes about something like this:

1. Talk for some other reason then to get into the other persons pants.
2. Try to meet up for coffee, tea, beer, water, wine, whiskey... you get the picture!
3. Be honest and direct to the point, how ever disgusting, strange or weird you are, people will like it.
4. Hug, open yar arms wide and HUG THEM MOTHER F*****'s.
5. Not read blogs on how to make friends, that's just plain weird dudes. GET OUT THERE!

FOOD AT UNI!

From the pan into the fire.

That was my reaction yesterday and today when I went to buy a coffee and a small snack from the new canteen. The price outrageous, the quality, mediocre at best, although I must give them credit they did make the place look nice. However, when I walk into the canteen I do not walk in to feast with my eyes, my salivary glands need to be satisfied.

And both time's I walked straight out and went to the health shop, which although still expensive was still a better option. Why? Well because I am not going to fork out 50c for a pastizz, nor am I going to pay 1.30 for a simple coffee which comes in a glorified paper cup.

I would expect these prices, and I would pay these prices if I am looking for food at a posh, area in Malta which would be tailored for people who can afford these prices. Well instead, I am getting these prices at the University Canteen. Key word University, the place which is over run by hungry and penniless beings, like myself, called students. Who would kills for a glorious cup of coffee, to keep their eyes open during their long hours of arduous torture, also known as reading for a degree.

I understand, we try to keep an image up, at least a large majority of us do. However, please do realize that these prices are to high, and frankly do not make sense, since I can go 10 minutes away to get much cheaper food, (THANK YOU NEW PASTIZZERIJA WHO JUST OPENED).  Cheaper coffee, and if I want to go fancy really fancy, I can always go to New Yorks Best, I mean they are expensive as it gets but, at least they have sincerely good food.

Before people will judge me, for not actually going to the place and tasting the food, the quality and the variety. I will do so in due time, since I am a penniless student, and a lot of pennies are needed. Well this will take a while, I guess thank god stipend is coming in soon!

Love

Im in love,
I am completely and utterly in love,
but not with anyone no,
no.

Im in love with love,
the concept of love.

love,
alluring,
lustful,
promising.

not being loved,
causes
pain.

Yet loving someone,
was the biggest pain
I ever lived though.

However, living with out either,
not loving or not being loved,

impossible!

So I thrug on,
living
loving
looking for love.

Not from anyone,
no,
no I look for love.

love
the ideal.

where it is,
I do not know,

love.
love is what is killing me
yet love is what makes me move forward.

I am in love with the concept of love.
A foolish endeavor.
For love will never love me back,
Yet maybe,

The hope of finding,
love,
finding and asking.
Why am I so addicted to it?

The hope,
makes me go on.

Fear...

Alone,

Darkness.

Alone,

Silence.

Alone,

Thoughts.

Alone,

Feelings.

Alone,

Closed.

Alone,

Isolated.

Alone,

Death.

Home!

I grew up on an island, in the middle of the Mediterranean. Thinking always the world is confined by the limits imposed by the shore. The great sea, which I was so terrified of, had to be crossed using the ferry, which brought people and took people to another 'land' when the time has come for them.

This all changed when I grew up, when I was 18, although I had gone abroad before, although I had been to Malta the other 'land'. I never really noticed and analysed the situation as I did when I was 18. I left Gozo, the night of my graduation from Higher Secondary, 6th Form, High School. Whatever you call it in your area, anyway. On that night I left on my greatest adventure, I went on my own to America. I an inexperienced traveller, one who was afraid of planes. I a closed minded individual grown in a sheltered environment.

I suddenly and very violently found out, how small Gozo really is, for a moment, and I can still remember this I was breathless, panicking. What the hell was I going to do, what HOW COULD THIS BE!

This changed me, but unlike what would happen in this case, or rather what I thought would happen in this case. I did not shut myself down, suffered though my summer program which was such a stimulating experience in my life. (BFTF - Benjamin Franklin Trans Atlantic Fellowship 2011 Look it up its a wonderful experience and would highly suggest anyone to go and try to take part in it.)

Inside of me, bloomed this desire, a curiosity to find out more about life, to find out the world which I lived in and explore it. Explore this Pale Blue dot which we live on. Since then I have been abroad as many times as I could, I have travelled, I have explored and I have always kept my mind open.

However this came at a price, now when I ever go back to 'Home' I feel suffocated, claustrophobic even.  What has grown in me, has not yet in those I left behind in Gozo, the idea of exploring new ideas, the idea of risking everything just to know more to learn who you are. To find your limits and break them to set new standards.

This is what I discovered, this is what I found, I have no limits, I have no restrictions, apart all those that I set on myself. I have become a person who does what he wants, I follow my dreams and I will do as much as is in my power to achieve these dreams.

Why title this Home? Simple, Home is the biggest limit I had ever set on myself, and I broke this limit and now Home is Earth, not Gozo, not Malta, not the EU. No Home is where the heart lies.

As cheesy as it gets! However this is what I feel and I am not afraid to say it.

So its 2am!

I did something today that, I should have been doing for the past year and kept forgetting, or finding a million and one excuses to not to.

I played Minecraft.

OK OK CALM DOWN IM NO ADDICTED TO IT AS I ONCE WAS.

Ok that took care of those that know what happened to me when I was introduced to Minecraft. However, those same people know what Minecraft is to me, what it means. Minecraft was my diary, every time I built something inside, that something meant a memory, a feeling an emotion. From the simplest dirt hole to the most elaborate castles and machines.

Those memories are stored recorded in pixel forms, blocks made up of 16 pixels each. Making the most marvelous of wonders. I built cities, from scratch. I made the world mine, endless hours of mining, crafting, building, breeding, repairing and most important of all imagining.

A world with no rules, has no limits, and thus I built myself a diary. Before I had this blog to scream out my opinions to people, before I had this system where I would build and build endless structures. Which people never really understood what they meant, actually neither did I. Till earlier this week, when I opened files which I have not touched in months up to a year, and found all my memories coming back to me.

Two hours later, I was happily continuing where I had left off on a massive volcano which I was building in the summer of 2012, remembering that when I came up with the idea I ended going to work 3 hours late as I just wanted to lay the basics out for this structure. Music and happily clicking away, I was momentarily transported back to my world.

My Kingdom.

Vienna, the city of the Unexpected! Part Two

Took my time with this second part of my last blog for my trip. Well apart from having to write a bloody RaR report, for those who do not know what it is. Well LUCKY YOU GUYS!, for those that know what it is. I felt your pain, I felt your sorrow and I some how survived a gruelling three days.

Anyway, the second part of Vienna, the city of Dreams. This part of the blog will not be targeting how gorgeous the city is, it will not be targeting what I found, and how I manage to pass though its many roads. No it will talk about the girl I met, who just was amused by the lost tourist I was.

Those that know me, well I eat, I love eating and I eat non stop, but in Vienna I had a problem. Food, food was just to expensive. Being so, I went to a fast food chain where the food ( for once ) was the cheapest I could find. I ordered 6 chicken nuggets, a large fries, sour cream and a large diet coke (yea yea make the jokes come on you all can). I got my food and went up to the second story to eat. 

There I couldn't find a place to sit down, which had a plug nearby. So I just sat down and started eating, and uploading what photos I had taken. Then this gorgeous girl comes in and sit on the same large table I was sitting at, just at the opposite end. I could notice her looking at me, every now and again and smiling. This is how I realised right behind her there was a holy grail I was looking for. The electricity that I needed to charge my phone, so I went and I asked.

Do you mind I use the charger next to you, and she said yes, and I used it. Then pure Alex fashion, I just started talking to her, because hey why not right? My though on the whole thing, she is not going to reply to me, and she is just going to ignore me. 

Thirty minutes later we were on the subway heading for a park. Three hours later, I was hugging her close, saying bye, holding back a feeling that I was going to lose a good friend which I had made. 

What happened in between?

Well we talked and talked, or again rather, I talked and talked. She listened and laughed, saying I was a 'little bit weird, just a little bit'. Her english vocabulary was not the best, but her accent was as clear as crystal. We went on the ferris wheel of Vienna, been there for centuries. We went on a ride, which she called me a scaredy cat, I was I really was. I was bullied into going on this ride, she called me a chicken among other things.

She talked eventually, she told me about herself. She told me her story, and I listened, she told me her hobbies and I told her mine. We talked and talked and talked. However, we also listened really hard because we wanted to try and get to know each other. 

 

I must admit, at first I was scared she was part of a gang and she was going to take me to a secluded place and steal my dirty clothings (MY SUIT) and leave me on the sidewalk half beaten to death. Yes my imagination is enormous and wild. 

However, what really happened is, I made a friend. I made a friend, and a very good one to. Why? Because I had the guts to follow my intuition and just you know what say. Hi. To a person who I had a good feeling about, to a person who really looked interesting, and who looked like they have a story to say.

I was very sad, to leave, however I know if or rather when I return to Vienna, and the surrounding areas. I got a good Friend waiting for me, and maybe if she comes to Malta. She has a friend over here. 

This is why I love to travel, you meet new people, your live new experiences, you learn what it means to be a citizen of this world. We are no longer nationals of any where, we are no longer part of any country, we have transcended that. We are now nationals of Planet earth.

With that said, we have a long way to go. So I will just keep in contact with my new Austrian friend and hopefully one day when I finally move into Vienna, we can repeat this experience and see how much we both have changed since now. (She is the one hiding behind me, this one does not like her photos xD)

The burger

A fleeting feeling,
Brushing fingers,
Trying to not spill
Yet to satiate,

A bite,
And all is forgotten,

Juice running down,
Sause oozing out the sides,

For the bite of the hungry,
A burger exists,
And ceases to exist
When the hungry are no more.

Day 4: Names, stories, inspiration.

The organisers asked us to say what was the most inspirational participant for you, however for me. Everyone gave me something, and this is what you guys gave me.

Hassan Rassmy : Persistent, what did he teach me;
Where there is a will there is a way.

Ariana Kostic : Mischievous, what did she teach me;
There is fun in anything.

Alina Dima : Quite, what did she teach me;
You do not have to be loud to be heard

Edin Sabljica: Calm, what did he teach me;
There is a time and place for everything.

Filippa Braarud: Smiling, what did she teach me;
As long as you have a smile on your face everything is easier.

Alena Cierna: Wise, what did she teach me;
I am still young.

Ekaterina Kuznetsova: Attentive, what did she teach me;
Look around you, there is more happening than you can see.

Irena Pejic: Listener, what did she teach me;
 Never forget that those around you have an opinion.

Blerton Zejneli: Initiator, what did he teach me;
Go for it, take the chance.

Ekaterina Smith: Bad-ass, what did she teach me;
The cover doesn't always indicate what's inside a book.

Pavlo Cherkashyn: Intelligent, what did he teach me;
The world is a much bigger place then I thought.

Modesta Dragasiute: Modesty, what did she teach me;
You do not have to be the best. To be great!

Eva Viidemann: Simple, what did she teach me;
Even the most basic of things can make us happy.

Diane Delave: Simple, what did she teach me;
Be happy of who you are!

Erekle Chanchibabze: Mysterious, what did he teach me;
Sometimes if you keep yourself to yourself its not such a bad thing.

Daria Urekina: Perceptive, what did she teach me;
That I can forget who I am, and I need to remember who I am.

Gentina Gola: Fun, what did she teach me;
There is always time for an other photo! xD

Jan Tomastik: Honest, what did he teach me;
Always know your limit before you try to over come it.

Theodor Marcu: Positive, what did he teach me;
There is so much good in the world, we need to preserve it.

Ryan Mercieca: Learner, what did he teach me:
There is a lesson to be learnt in everything you do.

Joana Larsen: Happy, what did she teach me;
Laugh till it hurts and then laugh some more!

The girl with the talking eyes.

No this is not me falling in love, however it is my romantic side talking. Yes, I met so many different people and I will mention them all however, this one person left an impact. She astounded me, she said so little, however, those eyes of hers spoke for her. Those eyes narrated the world, they sang a story of something hidden inside. Dark, that's what she called it, deep and hidden I could see something. But even if she said it was Dark, I saw light, I saw care and love, pain and laughter, I saw mischief. Most importantly I saw an honest person.

I know she will probably not read this, but even if she did, she will deny the existence of such a thing, and will say I'm dark. Whilst smoking a cigarette in the most fashionable way possible. However, those talking eyes, I will never forget the impact they left on my life. A person who says everything, but says nothing, that is truly an experience.

Anyway, a reminder for myself, of the variety of people living out there.

Day 3: On the third day!

This day was, tiring, draining but fulfilling. We had three massive debates, starting the morning, with a light discussion about the possibility of enlarging the EU, by light debate, we had countless questions to the speakers in question. Who where stunned by the groups involvement.

I could not contribute as much to this debate, solely based on the fact I never had given it much though, for me It was always the more the merrier, however the problem of a single state, blurring the lines of so many different cultures and nations, caused me to think what it really means to join the EU.

This however was nothing, in comparison with was coming up, Syria, they asked us a question and we where supposed to come up with an idea on how to solve the problem. The problem that everyone is trying to solve, the whole group was dumb founded on what to do. Everyone was proposing random ideas; someone suggested to split Syria into different states, someone suggested to help the rebels with an army and then my groups suggestion. Aid Assad to get stability back to the region and stop the massacres which are occurring. Then use this as a chance to rebuild a society, and give the people the chance for a democratic government, the price the Assad Regime it would have to pay to survive the war. Needless to say it was chaotic and before we knew it, we ran out of time, ran out of time to discuss. We continued even in our break to talk about it, wishing we can do something about this problem.The problem not of a dictator ship, but the problem of genocide.

OK ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!

What's next on the agenda, oh that thing ttip, you know that thing that no one knows anything about, and no one wants to say anything about it and no one wants to talk about and no one can talk about it. Why ? Because nothing has been launched officially, yet people are making a fuss about it like nothing before! SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING BEFORE TALKING! There I said it, that was my entire feeling about the matter, and it took me around 10s to say it no need for that pesky 2 minute timer (yes the organisers put a timer because we where taking so long in each debate that we drove them insane, sorry guys I apologise xD)

NOW FOR THE FUN BIT, the drinking, in the rain, in one of the oldest roads of Bratislava, with some of the best people in the world. Yea that's about how much I remember of the night, I know we ended in an underground club, then I was inside a shitty club, a crazy local was shoving people out of the way, then he was throwing old nokia phones at the floor trying to break the floor. Then I met with a crazy local fella, who took me around for drinks, then I  found a purple umbrella in the street which was broken, then I saw a drunk English lady sleeping on a sofa. Then I found myself drinking pepsi from a glass bottle, then I was walking home, then I was outside on the terrace talking to a new friend. Then I was sleep....It was a night to remember. xD Pity I dont remember it all in a coherent manner, but I know I have made some friends, that I will never lose as many years will pass, I will keep them close by.

Vienna! The First Part

Vienna, yes yes i know I skipped 2 days, but will be getting to those later. Vienna, has stolen my heart like it was only stolen once before, as such this city deserves the most importance of attentions and needs like no other.

I will, say this. I come from Malta, Malta the country of history, of architecture, the country of so much depth that, when I usually go to other countries, I am left with disappointment, this due to the country I am from and the background I am from. However, noting could prepare me for Vienna, the city of Dreams. I was transfixed, like the tourist I am I got lost, almost instantaneously, and found myself at the Belvedere, one of the most beautiful buildings I had ever seen in my life, thumped only by what I was about to see soon after.

Street after street of the most majestic buildings, the people in the street the loveliest and most charming, helping me and my touristy selfy taking psyco side. I tasted the best water, I ever had in my life, it was something out of this world, maybe I am talking because I was parched, but it was amazing, kept me going for the whole day.

I do not even know the places I have been to, but I know how beautiful they are, uploading them as we speak, and because I found it  such an interesting place and such a wonder city, building on the fact that I can learn so much from this city. A city which holds so many important institutions and experiences waiting to be discovered would teach me so much. This is one city which I will  be coming to again, and I am going to do my best to learn as much as possible. Now before part two of what happened in Vienna, I will take my leave since I must soon board the flight heart broken leaving such a wonder behind.

Edit: Here be some photos for those who haven't seen the beautiful city!

Day 2: The Bratislavian Summit.

The Chairman Gives the Floor for Moderated Caucus:

Hell ensues, a debate of such intensity and accuracy took place, the leaders from each party kept arguing, counter arguing and building diplomatic ties, or in some cases erasing them. Forcing the process to start again from the beginning.

The only difference, this was just us a group of students, a group of people from such a varied background, than the one we where representing. People from backgrounds ranging from Law, to Classical Science. People who are so eager to do something that they met together and came together just for the reason of learning and growing.

We where Split up in four different groups, the Russian Federation, The Republic of Ukraine, the EU and The USA; the topic of discussion, the Crimean annexation.

A topic which right now, is of the hottest of issues, but its not the material that was important, it was the energy in the room, the will to try and find a solution it was the fact that it is possible to get so many people of so many different backgrounds to just discuss talk, and help themselves grow.

A resolution was achieved, a result was obtained however, this result means nothing if we do not have the people to keep something like this happening. I must say however, that from what I see, these people are there, these people are ready to take up where the current people have left everything, and they are ready and willing to keep the torch going on.

As long as there is someone to hold the torch, there is hope for a brighter and better future. As long as there are people who are ready to do what is needed to be done, we are going to have a future. So lets make sure we inspire people to do what is needed to be done.

DAY 1: Well a tad late!

WHAT an experience, arrived here, got scammed like a real turist would be, HOWEVER I did get into the hang of things and here I am 2 days later sitting in the middle of the conference and I JUST NEEDED TO WRITE.

First day, well that was a blast as I said I got scammed, I cannot believe that this happened, someone who comes from Malta. However, putting self stereotypes aside, the first day was amazing, the first speaker just was a mixture of incredible and just crazy, the good kind. That kind of crazy that pushes you forward and gives you energy to keep going on. So Owen Fernadez gave a great motivational spin to the session and it kick started our energy working together.

Twenty-two brilliant people, that's what I can say about everyone here, I am just sad and slightly pissed of that I have such little time with them but I can say I made some friends here, and how where these friends made. Well, the first workshop, split us into four parts, North, South, East and West; then we had a problem given to us, we where given a country and we were told to solve our problems. I got my heart and soul into this as the Minister for Finance and Economy of the North, also the Deputy Prime Minister. 

We did not stop till we conquered the rest of the three countries, no not really, after a long diplomatic and very agitated meeting we finally arrived on a consensus which allowed, the north and south strong economic and brilliant relations, aggressive stance against my countries enemies.

Then came the bonding, I am so happy to meet my old friends from BFTF 2011 here, Hassan, Alena and Genta. I cannot believe that after all these years we met and we still are the best possible friends. Talking about everything from about what we did last weekend, to how the world is going down the drain and what we can do to help it out. We had a dinner which was amazing and this was I must note some of the best food I had in a long long time. After that came the beer, BEER so good over here and so cheap (Heaven).

Then we started integrating and making friends with the others here, I will admit I am still having problems remembering most of the names, simple minded fool I am, however these people I can see in five years time, ten years time. These people will be managing and organising, they will be leading and guiding their respective areas and be a force to be reckoned with.

These people, they are the future, and here I am listing in and giving my little own opinion which is so heavily influenced by my scientific background, giving me a point of view outside science however allowing me to apply what I know, the scientific method, and use it to solve the problems they keep throwing at us.

As you can see from this photo I should get back to the conference see you in a bit guys!

Here I go again! #YLTE2014

Off I am to Bratislavia, for the YLTE conference, which is being organised by the IDteam. 

Now that the mentions are out of the way, what will this conference bring to me, a rambling and opinionated, at least that's what I think I am mostly, person? In all honesty this opportunity for me is one of networking, more then anything else, it is true important issues will be discussed and a resolution will be sought for these issues, I will do my utmost to contribute to these resolutions and give me 100% and more, however at the end what is the most valuable thing out of this is making contacts, making friends which will last for years allowing me to broaden my horizons. 

I live on an island, isolated from the rest of the world to a large degree, especially since I live on the sister island of Malta, Gozo, the isolation happens naturally, the mentality of the elder generation, yes that means I am getting old as well being the current gen, is quite restricted. However, there is hope, this hope comes in the new youth which are highly active and are doing their best to integrate with other cultures. This integration, this mixing and learning, this is what in my opinion allows a country to grow and mature. It allows us to learn from each other, trust others and different cultures and above all else not be afraid of change, as many people are.

Anyway better try and cap my rambling to a point! 

Mean while I am at the airport at 6 am in the morning waiting for my flight. With a sleepy Gozitan right next to me who is mumbling under his breath while sleeping off his long night. (The guy in orange) Now im off to join him in sleep. Ta Ta.

Harassment!

So, here I am doing my own little things in this very big world, knowing that I am just one drop of water, in an ocean of droplets, knowing that being one drop, as large as I can get, I will just always be one drop, thats when I see other drops struggling, thats when I see other drops working their asses off to make what they believe a reality.

Today I saw a page on facebook, which I really want to support and endorse their struggle as futile as it is, I will stand by what they are trying to do. Because it is such a noble cause, they are trying to stop street harassment they are trying to stop, those  disgusting remarks being sent to women walking in the street.

That immagine left such an effect on me, who would say these things and be in the right frame of mind? Well us men, thats who us men who were never though respect, us men who were never told how to talk to a female without being scared little aholes.

I am afraid the problem is that most people do not think this is a problem, the problem is that most people think this is ok. IT IS NOT OK, these are the same people who will campaign about not killing animals because its inhumane to breed them in small areas, these are the same people who would do their best to be nice to those around them but feel that cat calling someone is a good thing.

I must say, I used to be like this, till someone changed my view, till someone showed me that this is not how it should be. I was lied to, not by those around me, not by my society, I was lied to by myself. I used to say, its right, yet some how in my heart of hearts, I always knew I was wrong, I always knew I was not in the right.

Go to this facebook page and give them your support. They deserve it, I really appreciate what they have done, it is something that we all should do.

https://www.facebook.com/StopStreetHarassment?ref=br_tf

Crossroads.

What is the purpose

of living

when inside you 

are dead.

What is the purpose 

of existing

when inside you

are empty.

What is the reason

to survive

when there is

no escape 

What is the reason

to try

when there is

no hope.

We are the 

person which

we made 

ourselves to be.

We have no

excuse

we have no

one to blame.

But us

our decisions,

our actions

make us

Define us,

define who we 

are

rather.

Define who 

we think

we 

are.

These actions 

we take 

when

we wake up.

These actions

we take

when 

we go to sleep.

Every day

every moment

we are at a crossroad

a fork in the road.

But we cannot decide

we cannot always decide

thus we have to take a 

leap of faith.

Making our life

a game

a game of chance

with no jack pot.

Just
who

makes the 

most moves.

The question

remains,

how many

moves are left?

Leaving

Leaving the world where all thats is is.
Entering a world where all that is isn't.

This world has always facinated me.
Always intrigued me.

Yet now that I am in it.
I am scared of what I am finding inside.

I left the world where everything that is is.
Entered the world where all that is isn't.

Jack and steak

Jack is like eating the cake
Whisky is like eating the steak.

#cocktailbarstories

Results! are they really the problem?

A topic everyone seems to be talking about at the moment, and one I am quite heated about. So I will have a rant about what I think of it, what I understand the different bodies are saying and of course what should be happening but will not happen, because you know, students are not really catered for that much at this university since we are not paying for our tuition.

Yes that is indeed the problem, the main and ultimately the only problem we see that is causing this. Money, everyone needs money and to get money you need to work for it. Now different jobs give you different amounts of money. That's because they require different amounts of energy and work power, training and experience. One can say that working as a lecturer at a university is one of the hardest jobs to get. The exclusivity to get a post in Malta is ridiculous, and that's because the people who are in these place, just happen to be that good. I can talk from the side of the Faculty of Science, the lecturers there are some of the best around. Their knowledge and research is simply phenomenal, a lot will agree with me their teaching methods are not always the best around. But that's not their main job is it?

No abroad you get two people for the same thing, one would be teaching the students and training them to become graduates of the course, and an other would be doing research and training them in the practical side of the field they are studying in.

Why are is it afforded to have so many different kinds of lecturers abroad, well because people pay thousands and thousands of euros, pounds, dollars to be part of the universities. To be able to live in a flat, live on their own, still go out enjoy life, get to pay for their studies and then hopefully get their degree. What happens in Malta?

We all know this, everyone is already waiting for the next stipend, I don't need to say more, we get a free education, and above that we get given extra money to be able to study at university, yes we get from 80 euro to a 150 euro a month. According to what subject you study, but, but how does this effect university funding? A system which is run on the money of the government, the money from the yearly budget.

Quite badly I must say, it causes the lecturers to have a lower pay, to have less money available for research purposes, and less funding available for those who wish to partake into a further research at our university. I could point once again to the Faculty of Science, the equipment there for most of the undergraduate labs is so outdated, that I am sure if we look close enough we see our predecessors from 30-40 years ago inscriptions on the wooden benches.

Most of the innovation that occurs in our labs, comes from European funding. This is because the local government doesn't invest enough funding into the system, because he is funding us to continue our studies.

However, this does not mean that the lecturers can use us, this doesn't mean that they can bargain using our future. Our results, our hard work, a year working studying to get a pay rise, this does not mean they can hold us back from learning, and this is what's happening. This is what I am seeing happening, by holding back the results, by holding back our assessment, we do not know what will happen to us.

People like me, who are not that good at the writing part of our course, at the easement part.  My skills lie else where, I enjoy the subjects, I love and adore studying, but I am not compatible with the system in place. That however is a story for an other time.

The story right now is this, there is a massive student body, still waiting for its results, and slowly getting angrier and angrier. The angrier the students will get, the more chaos will occur. I must actually congratulate the university organisations, mainly KSU for leading the students in such a controlled manner. Helping us to move as a unit work together to put the correct pressure and not go over board.

But then, then we are being ignored, we are being ignored when we are working in one of the most professional ways possible. Its true some results for the final year students, or those students which are having deadlines (I must say some with less then a week before) are being released.

The whole situation is what I could term to be a claustrofuck, are there any solutions? Short term, well yes the government gives in and give the lecturers what they are asking for. Long term? Long term I think its time to say good bye to our stipends, and a complete and total rework of our university structure.

Our university, has one of the highest standards around. Our exams are often called impossible by the international students who are brave enough to come here. The Erasmus students who go abroad and come back always say how easier it is abroad form here in Malta. We thus have one hell of a student body, and one hell of a lecturing body. Why aren't we making sure that our university is one of the best in the world by keeping it updated and up to the modern times.

I should be sleeping. #rambling #lostinthought #lifeexperience

I should be sleeping but, I realised I have not had a rant at someone for a while, and what better way to have such rants if not on my blog (sorry people for keeping you waiting, currently I am busier then exam time believe it or not). So here goes.

I was thinking, and talking to myself. Why the hell do I do so much, stuff, what drives me to keep on working, and enjoying what I do. I must say, thinking about the amount of hours I dedicate to my passions, I always over did it. While gaming, I used to spend sometimes even more then 16 hours in one day playing a game obsessing about getting the small things right. Then I moved on to building stuff in minecraft (note this for me is not a game but a means to express ones self), where I spent countless hours building, what ever I felt, large cities, contraptions, monuments ect.

And now S-Cubed, or rather being an active student, helping those around me who need that extra push and working with a team of brilliant people. (Who I must admit not always get along with, but I mean stress does things to people. The best bit is getting a beer afterwards and its all good. ) Working with these people, to provide that something that will people remember their university, and help them be able to get a better job eventually. At least that's what I am trying to do, but I must admit, I do not always manage, but that does not turn me off this, rather it reinvigorates me to keep working harder and harder. Sometimes I take it a step to far, far to far...and it has damage my academic record, I must say quite badly in some cases. But I will keep doing this, in anyway capacity I can because Its what keeps me sane, yet at the same time what makes me insane if that makes sense.

A close friend of mine, while being drunk to the point of being oblivious to the world around him, had come up to me and told me. Alex, Alex I envy you, I envy the will you have. This left me speechless, no guys no this is not me saying look at me I am awesome, no this is not a narcissistic comment about myself. No this is a comment about the will that my friend talk about. What he said is the thing that worries me the most, of all the people around me, I notice they have the potential to change the world. I know people who have the brain power to be able to do so many things. Research, develop and manage anything that takes their fancy. I know people who will blow your mind, I know a guy who learnt how to do a rubrics cube everything in an evening. He does them at the speed of light, incredible. I know a person who has the ability to memorise almost anything, and make assumptions which are always within the 95% confidence level (for non scientists that's being able to assume what the truth is, or being extremely close to it.)

I, met all these people, I know them, they are my friends, close friends, but what makes me said is, not all of them do something to help themselves. Not all of them get their potential and push it to the limit.  People congratulate me for doing something, doing something that is so bad, I am ashamed of it, but people still come up to me and say wow you are so good. What is different between me and them? I tried, they didn't...but if they did, I would have looked like an idiot, because they would be a million times better then me at it.

So that's one thing I am doing right now, getting people to do stuff so I look like an idiot, and we have a better world in general, but for myself, why do I do what I do?

I do that because I...

I do not know, I am doing something because it feels right but... I really honestly do not know why I do half of the things I do, I just act. I found out that when I think about something for far to long, things get complicated, problems arise, before they arise, solutions never come, because there are no problems to fix...and I fail. So I live life day by day, living as if I am living for the last day of my life.

So here is a question for yourself.

If you know you are going to die in the next 365 days, yes in the next year. What would you do?

I think I will continue living as I am, doing my best, maybe not to enjoy life, but to feel proud of who and what I am, because of anything I can say I am proud of myself, not because everything I do is correct, but because I do so many mistakes. As Albert Einstein said, if from a 1000 ideas one of them is a good one, well I will be happy. In my case if from a 1000 mistakes, I learn about one of them, then I know I have grown into a better person.

Sea

A place,
Lost,
Forgotten.

Soon to,
Stop existing,

I found,
Memories,
Lost lost.

Of people,
Of friends,
Of loved ones.

But that feeling,
Of feeling,
Alone.

But the sea,
Endless,
Strong,
Soft,
Gentle,
Persitant.

The memories it holds,
The ages it saw,
The stories it heard,
Pityful mine seems,
But I add to what is...

posted from Bloggeroid

Lost

Lost
In
Gold
And
Rich
People
All
Around
What
Do
I
Do
How
Do
I
Make
This
Happen
Help
No
Way
Out
What

posted from Bloggeroid

Summer

A time where the sunshine's,
A time where the sea is warm,
A time where people stop and relax,

But why?
But why?

Why has it become a time,
to take photos of everything you do?
to take photos of every patch of water you find?
to take photos of every 'memory you have'?

Rather then,
the time when it was fun to just spend hours playing monopoly,
the time when it was fun to just go to the beach and try to drown each other,
the time when it was fun to just be

now we are trying to create memories,
rather then enjoying the moment,
we are
trying to remember it.

Experiences

What is the single most beautiful experience in life?

Love

What is the single most painful experience in life?

Love

What is the single most yearning in life?

Love

What is the single most important thing in life?

Love

What is the single most amazing feeling in life?

Love

The morning after...

Waking up half undressed with your shirt stuck in your armpit, sprawled all over your bed, lights turned on music blasting at full sound, and cuddling a water bottle as if your life meant on it and a foot on the laptop which was playing the music.

Drinks came out and that's where it started getting hazy, running around trying to contact the last few people who had booked their tickets, a maniac on wheels, trying to find people in this place was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and somehow we found the people, gave them the tickets and we were on our merry way. By this time I had downed around half a bottle of whiskey, and 'borrowed' my friend's vodka which had been left lonely in his car booth.

Fast forwarding to the drunken mess I was around 40 minutes later, running about the club where the party was happening at full swing, with this happening to me;

getting knocked over when I went to say hi to a friend,
getting free booze when some people said hi to me and said seriously cool blog (had to name you),
getting lost inside the club, and losing all my friends,
getting into a haggling battle with the hot dog stand owner,

finding and losing my friends a million times,
finding myself dancing with a guy on my shoulders,
finding myself dancing with people I do not know but were really nice,
finding people whom I had not met in months,

seeing the world slow down,
seeing people jump up and down,
seeing most people bonding together,
seeing the floor a few more times,

After this whirlwind of random and almost completely disjointed events, I ended up meeting someone who offered me a ride home, however, PASTIZZI had to come into play. Not that I was hungry, far from it, no we where just being greedy, so this guy drove us all the way to the fabled Crystal Palace where, we had pastizzi and tea at four in the morning, waiting for sun to start rising. After filling our bellies with the hot pastries stuffed with peas we drove back home. The trip turned into a racket which ended up with me slouching over the seat, and him laughing that I was falling asleep because of my stupor of alcohol. 

Then morning came...

But I must say, the party was one of the best in my life.