Boxed in.

So here goes a rant, well rather then a rant. Something I have realized happens a lot, and something which I am seeing happening all the time. Something which can be so easily solved, yet we as a society, we as individuals shy away from it. 

The fear of changing, we live our entire lives, either inside a routine or trying our best to create one. I guess that goes for me as well, however I am in the routine of breaking routine, or that is what I tell myself. Where am I going with this, well simply put people do not like breaking and going into an uncertain future, and the ones that do. Those people are branded strange, weird, not the be trusted. 

Deviants from our culture and society. 

I personally, want to be a deviant, I want as much it is to my capability, to survive to be one of these people. Living life never knowing what they will do, what opportunity will come knocking. 

Knocking? Knocking where? Knocking on the box we build around us, the box of familiarity, the box of comfort and routine. I am a deviant, I am, and would like to belive and take pride in this part of my personality;

A human being that is ready, and open to everything. Ready to change and adapt according to how I see the world. I will not accept what others believe, with out knowing, learning and finding out as much as I can about the 'truth'*. Why, because I want to live my life knowing that I did all that was in my power and capability to live my life.

Why did I say the 'truth', simple, if others can make mistakes, so can I. I might be living a life which is filled with mistakes, and in actuality it is, and I will admit to many of them. I will admit to anything that I believe I made a mistake.

Why do I make so many mistakes, its because I am constantly trying what ever life decides to throw at me. I am not good, I am not special, I am not a genius or as some prefare to put it insane. No I am a person who has the guts to try his hand at what ever he can. I said this before and I will say this again, there are people out there, better then me in every thing that I do. There are people who can destroy me at my precious public speaking ability, there are people who can write more creative and much more entertaining blog pieces then me. Two of the things which I hold to describe me as me, as Alex. Things which I believe I am good at, or capable at. 

With that, I will tell you this.

I would not be able to speak in front of people if in 2009 I did not man up and jump at the opportunity to take part in the Mini European Assembly competition that was available to me as a first year in the Gozo 6th form.

Most definatly, a person who spent his life being told; 

"You are shit at writing, you will never be able to write anything that is of any good. Your English is beyond repair and your sentence structure is un-comprehensible."

 A person who got his essays back covered in red, often with attached papers with notes on what was wrong. Having 10 spelling mistakes in a single line with 9 words in, an achievement which I am proud of. Why? Because today I can just pick up my laptop and start typing, write one of my blog pieces and not give two craps of what people will think. I will take in the criticism and do my best to fix and edit what I have, so I learn and grow and improve. 

So, do have you box, do have your routines, but keep your lid open at all times, and let any thing that can help your box grow.

You are the only person in your life who can open the lid. Then open the lid and take what ever opportunity you get to do something that you never would have dared. Take a set outside, I promise you will not regret it.