Canned Tuna

Canned food, wonderful creation is it not? It stays there, retaining its relative tastiness for years on end. (Compare canned tuna and fresh tuna after 2 years and see which one is the more appetizing one).

However in the end, it has one thing, uniformity, its the same, some imperfections, some different brands. Yet at the heart of the matter its essentially the same copy. Why am I talking about canned tuna? Is it because I just ate one which left me moderately dissatisfied, but i convinced myself that it was the tastiest healthiest cheapest thing that I could carry around with me? Perhaps.

Or is it because recently my Facebook has been filled with the non stop posting about the deaths of famous people, may they rest in peace, with the 'Earthquake' that managed to shatter broadband across the country with people posting about how amazing it was. In the words of a friend of mine, hunting likes by posting about the earth quake  came in three shocks, the earthquake itself, the people making fun of the fact everyone was panicking and then the people telling the people to shut up. 

Then of course the deaths of so many famous people, who so many people are a fan of, who SO many more people became a fan of.  The point is, it turned people into canned food, canned food that cannot be any different than what it is similar. There is canned tuna, mackerel and even canned lobster ravioli (the things you find in the local grocery store are strange, varied and outright incredible.) The fact however remains, we have become easily categorized into pre-determined groups, labels, myself included.  

How did this happen? In an age that we have unlimited access to one of the vastest seas of knowledge that we ever have had. The internet, the websites we use them (again I am guilty as hell of this) for simply going though countless hours of scrolling though posts on Facebook which I have already seen. Watching YouTube trailers again and again and again, the same effect that opening the fridge once was, you open it thinking of finding something nice to eat. You then close it and open it again, only thing changing is your expectations of what you can find.

The internet, the age of information, has done something which it was not ment to do. It was ment to connect us, to help us broaden our minds, and yet it is managing to change us into identical copies, millions following fashion trends, hundreds of thousands listen to what a few people say and do what they are told. Those few people, are strong enough to for a small period of time express themselves, but then they also crash and burn.

However, we still do not understand how big and how strong the internet can be, we use it with out learning how to. We dive head deep into an ocean that is filled with a wealth of information that more often than not scares us. This is when we end up sticking to what we know, and just to that, creating our thought bubble and keep it solidly in place. 

Because as humans, what are we more afraid than anything else, we are afraid of what we do not know.

What am I saying in my long ramble?

Ask Google next time. 

He knows the answer to your question.

Yet is your question the correct one?

The Ramble

Well this is a very big post that I have been putting off months from posting. 

WELCOME TO MY NEW PAGE! 

Yes finally I have made a page and yes finally I have started posting in the name of #RoTM (get it trending people)

What better time to do it when I am basically already drowning in work :D 

Yet there is not a better time to do this then now, why?

Well lets start with the story that I have been putting off for so long, that well now its stale. Maybe I wanted it to be stale, maybe I wanted to escape from it, I have been  really running away from it.

I have been posting less on this blog, which was my mode to express myself, and that is because I did not know what to express about myself. I have just changed everything about me, yes the same old crazy Alex is still here inside waiting to burst out at every opportunity. 

Yet, I failed my degree, after four long years of hard work, gruelling hours of working on countless scientific theorems, learning fact after fact of material that I will now never be able to use. That is what I was thinking the day I found out I had failed. 

I was a failure, it is indeed an interesting feeling,  completely giving up in life, seeing the world as a vortex of darkness. In my head it was all the fault of this year, the dark year I wanted to dub it. Everything was going to go wrong, nothing will work out. 

Then I tried finding a job, guess what no luck. I mean who wanted to hire someone who has failed! Who wanted to find someone to pick up and train to do something. I did get an internship in SiTC, which I am really grateful for, however I knew it was not going to be enough. I needed a plan, I needed to get out of that vortex that was sucking me in. 

Then it started to happen, BOOM out of the blue, I was in ESN Malta, BOOM, I was elected the President, with a wonderfully crazy and energetic team. Head strong and ready to make a change, to make THE change, to rewrite the history of the organisation.

BOOM,

I was hired for a second internship, I am working with Konnekt Recruitment, the door way for me into the world of work. I am learning things which I would have never known before if it was not for Konnekt the people I work with, the environment, it is impossible to feel down in there. No one gives you a chance you always know you can get back up, admit that you did something wrong and keep on working to fix it. That is their mentality and it fills me to the brim with energy!

BOOM

Met new people, met new friends, I feel in love again, so crazily so instantly. Something which I had though I cannot, trusting someone with that spark of magic. Yet I was lost when I met her, the romantic in me gave in, not even a struggle. Yea sure it might not work out, but who knows! 

I am still 22, I am young and crazy, I am resourceful, as some friends put it, Unorthodox, Crazy and Dedicated. Yes that is what I am, some one who is not scared of trying out the new thing, someone who is not scared of being some one else, of working, of accepting his misatakes and moving on. 

Yes I am hard headed and it takes a while to get used to me, some people have personalities, I am a character (again quoting some of my dearest friends who love me so much :D )

Why should I hold myself back and hold back who I am? 

What does that result in?

It results in a lack of happnies from my part, it results in me escaping the reality, which is

I am Alex,

and I love to Ramble, doesn't come frequent, or regular, but it comes when it comes.

SO why was I upset that I cannot form the Facebook page. Because I was not posting enough? 

EVERY day is a story if I choose to share it, because I see the world though my eyes, and my eyes alone and you all see the world though your own eyes. So let us share our stories, some people share their stories though photos, others though speaking.

I Ramble.

SO Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, PEOPLE of all AGES

I 

GIVE

YOU

RAMBLINGS OF THE MIND!!!!!!!!!!!

Summer: The Lost Girl!

So yesterday I was walking back home after one of the nicest burgers I had in a while. The Falafel burger at New York's Best blew my mind away, and no they did not pay me to give them this advert, although they are welcome to give me a free burger next time <3. But yes the burger was out of this world, never expected in a million years for it to be so good, especially since I am not a big fan of Falafel.

Anyway I digress, yes I was walking home, tired from a very long day ( I will get to that in an other blog post). While waiting on the bus stop I eyes a gorgeous girl, who was vividly lost and panicking, so like any good citizen I look at the ground and kept myself to myself. Something which I am ashamed of having done, because the poor girl then came up to me and started asking me directions in very fragmented english. She was sounding very panicked and kept trying to explain that she needed to get to Marsaxlokk, which was around 2 hours bus ride away, and since it was at the end of the day buses were not passing as frequently. Not to mention the insanity of Isle of MTV. 

Me feeling guilty of not having made the first step and tried to help her even though I realized she was in distress, I told her I will help you get there. I stayed talking to her and have a really wonderful conversation. That frankly put a lot of things into perspective for me.

I will not give you the details, however she was a foreigner who came to Malta so that she could find work. She had made a contract with someone back in her country allowing her to work in Malta for 4 euro 50 cents per hour. Something that she was over the moon about, working long hours yes but she was happy. Why? Because back in her country she was making 1.50-2 euros an hour.  She is a European citizen, yet what she was describing to me happily, her dreams her aspirations. Were so different from mine, her way of thinking so simple and happy go lucky. I felt that she was being used, working long hours as a waitress so that she could make some money and go back to her country and buy a car. Yet, at the same time, it was her way of life, she is young, she choose not to go to university, she choose a different path. 

This made me make a promise to myself, I am going to try harder to talk to those random people that I will be meeting. Especially since now I am forming part of ESN Malta, which I am sure is going to get me to meet all these amazing new people who have incredible backgrounds, simple back ground, just a story to tell.

I regret not taking her number or contact, so that I could listen to more of her story, but then again maybe it was for the best. It was such a fleeting moment, a gust of wind that took me on such a discovery.

The Glass

Is the Glass half full or half empty?

An age old question often used and interpreted in a myriad of ways. Supposedly making us think about our personality, if we are optimists or pessimists. However, I never heard someone say, although I am sure I am not the first to think of this. It is just a glass with water in it.

We have such an obsession to classify things, separate and divide into facts of information. We need to know. We need to put everything into its category, and get that fix for our "OCD" as many would say. Yet as I said, why cannot the glass be just a glass of water? 

From our own perspective it is just a glass of water, but from someone else's point of view it is definitely going to be described as something different. This is because we do not see the same things, we do not see the world from the same perspective. We do usually have a tendency to have a very similar, with almost identical perspective that is heavily influenced by the culture that we live in, the people that we grow up with, or those that we call friends. Yet it always impresses me how people from different cultures, different education backgrounds or simply different ages tend to see the world.

Do we all ways see everything we have around us?

I used to work as a waiter and this put me in contact with a large amount of tourists who always gave me their own take on my culture, coming from Gozo. I had this idea, a very close minded and small perspective of how the world was or so I thought. When I traveled I understood those people I used to meet bewildered lost in my culture. All it took was me brushing up someone else culture. Having lived just one month in America and then having been in a relationship with someone from London, which resulted in me living the odd week over there every few months. Showed me how differently we see our world from each other, and in a way opened my mind to so many different possibilities of seeing anything. Including that glass of water.

In a manner, I don't see a glass of water, or rather don't want to see a glass of water. I want to see what others see, because that is in itself just as interesting and intriguing as the eternal debate of the half full, half empty glass, because in doing that I believe that I might be able to understand much better how others think and feel.

Crossroad after the other.

Coming to that fork in the road,

with no time to choose,

with no time to decide,

Yet all that which you worked for,

is balanced on top of that single,

moment.

Coming to that choice,

with no right or left,

just a cliff

A cliff which one must jump,

into murky waters,

far far below.

The jump is fun,

The jump is interesting,

The jump will bring change,

The jump will make one search.

The question is,

Will I have the guts to jump?

Sensation

I exploded,

I was every where,
I was air,
I was dirt,

The land and the sea,

I felt them,
I felt the stone,
I was dancing,
I was driving,
I was drinking.

I exploded,

Outside my body,

I felt the need and urge,

To do it all,
Be it all,
I was everything,
Yet I was nothing,

I was a god,

Yes that is what a god feels like.

For that brief moment,
For that instant of time,

I could feel,
I could act,
I could think,

Like a god.

Windows

A girl,
I saw,
on a window.

Of a dimension,
I never thought.
Of.

She Smiled,
She Talked,
She Seduced me,

kept me
company.

I looked,
I thought,
I wished,

She
was
the
one
I
would
Love